Tales of the SM Move - Bustin Out My Higher Power

**UPDATE BELOW**

Procuring a place to live has been a bitch. Before we found our perfect SM apartment, two others had fallen out. The first because the owner decided to jerk the place out from under us and give it to his daughter and the second because another couple put in their application nanoseconds before us. And now the place that I thought was solid -- the place on the perfect street next to the perfect schools and stores and ficus trees and cracked sidewalks -- has contracted a bullshit glitch.

The lady that I call Landlady is actually a long-time tenant (and attorney) that helps out the owners of the building who are apparently one thousand years old. Landlady has been spectacular in accommodating us and making sure we get this apartment. She has been the liaison between us and Ancient Owners. I met Mrs. Ancient Owner last Saturday. She is a German lady with greasy hair and fucked teeth especially the fronts, but she has the face of a sixty year old yet the mind of her real age, around a thousand years old. She was spacey and loving and once she saw the girls, it was a wrap. She took our deposit and welcomed us to the neighborhood. As Landlady was drawing up the lease this week, Mr. Ancient Owner realized we had two pugs and he decided if dogs were going to reside in his precious apartment, the rent would have to be raised $300 more a month, way beyond our budget. This was expressed to me by a mortified Landlady this morning, 10 days before we are supposed to move. My apartment now is aclutter with boxes; in complete disarray, and the Nazi Corporate Apartments where we currently live will charge us every minute we even think of staying past our move-out date. They are, in fact, chomping at the bit for us to get the hell out so they can j-iz-ack the rent much higher for the next fool that wants to live in the unbending, unfriendly franchised complex.

When Landlady told me the news this morning, my innards flattened and slithered out of me not unlike a Dali "still." I was nauseated and I could only think to put my forehead on my desk as Landlady blurted apologizes and suggestions over the phone including one about waiting until the 15th of July for another apartment in the building where the rent might be cheaper. She also stated that Mr. Ancient was now questioning if we had enough combined income and he was concerned because Husband had just started a new job. Completely dejected and scrambling to think of other places to live, I decided to counter Mr. Ancient Pig with an offer that only raised my rent $100 but extended my lease. I decided I wouldn't give up on this place without a good fight. And a little begging.

I told you before that my instincts are shot to hell. They are dead-line about almost everything. I used to rely heavily on My Gut and lately a twinge of instinct ends up being only indigestion. I had to make adjustments when I realized this. Meaning, I decided that I had to go with the flow of the universe's tide instead. If I could not rely on myself then I'd have to ride along on the What-Was-Meant-To Be train. I do love this concept in principle because it takes an auto-pilot faith to practice it which is comforting, relaxing in ways. But I honestly believe there's only so long you can make decisions -- or have them made for you -- in this way. Like, what's up, Universe? I have 10 days to move and You're fucking with me? Not funny. So, my instincts are failing me, and the Universe is telling me to get off my ass and make my own decisions. This apartment situation initially left me feeling so powerless this morning, so down. Until I decided to make another adjustment.

I've decided I'm going to get this apartment by magic. Seriously. I am going to will Mr. Ancient Owner with my magical, powerful mind to cut out the horseshit and draw up a lease exactly as my counter offer states. I’m taking matters into my own hands. And Landlady is going to call me tomorrow saying, It’s all fine and come in Saturday for the signing. This is not my gut instinct, nor am I sure what the Universe thinks of this because apparently She went on summer vacation. But I'm swirling up my own magic to make this all happen. And I believe this 100%. Now, swirl up your own inner powers and make it happen with me. Then, go and make happen all the things that you really, really want because your magic has been sparked.

I'll tell you what happens tomorrow.

***************

Well, thanks to our collective magical minds, Mr. Ancient inexplicably (wink, wink) softened, had a moment of clarity and drew up a lease the $100 more and no extended lease. We sign it tomorrow, but he has already signed. Landlady was a true champion and the Magic was genius. Thank you so much. I believe 100% that you guys helped.