Friday, January 16, 2009

I Flew to Arizona Yesterday

I had a 6am flight yesterday for a quarterly meeting at the Big Client's office in Arizona. I stressed myself out about waking up at 4:15, but mainly I was a little nervous about flying - again. I had spent twelve hours telling myself flying is no big deal. Pff. It's the take off, mainly, isn't it? And the landing? Oh and any turbulence in between. So, the take off was ok. I tried to read through it, but found myself putting the paper down and burrowing deeply into my mind; snuggling as far down as possible. While escaping the surface thoughts, it's interesting what I came up with. In the brief ten minutes I was mentally deep-sea diving, I managed to come up with a clear-cut family budget revision and a three-year life plan. Amazing! The rest of the flight was uneventful though I did have the where-with-all to WRITE down the plan my mind had just handed to me on a platter. Thanks mind. You're awesome.

For the flight home, I walked onto the plane confidently. I told myself that there was no need to freak out about the take off. I'm fine. Which kinda worked. Until we hit some turbulence on the initial decent into LA an hour later. I was sitting in the aisle seat next to two big young men possibly on their way to a Laker game. When the turbulence hit -- a nice initial jolt, then more -- I reactively kicked the guy in the middle. His friend at the window seat jarred awake and grabbed the middle guy's arm. We had made him into a turbulence sandwich of our fear. The middle guy joked to his friend, "Dang, man, why are you screaming?" The Window Guy looked at me and said, "I didn't scream, did I? Tell me I didn't scream." I smiled, "No. And sorry I kicked you, Middle Guy." I spent the last 15 minutes of the flight mentally screaming for the plane to get me home safely NOW. It took a lot of restraint not to let it slip from my lips. The moment we landed, Husband text me, "Are you Ok baby?" Which I thought was generously sweet until he text: "You didn't hear about the plane that went down in NY, did you?" Uh no. I hadn't. I may still be in Arizona now if I had.

Hey, guess what I bought and sold at work today? Crime-scene evidence bags. Mmmhmm, the kind you put shell casings and pubic hair in. Rob said, "I wonder if they want us to source fingernails and semen with these?" Why did we buy and sell these bags? We don't ask. We might have made a joke had they asked for body bags, rope and gasoline cans, but as long as we made a good profit probably not. Whore to a sale we are!

Happy Friday, y'all.


kristen said...

that mental screaming? it's how i fly and now with that crash, um, the flight we're taking in 3 weeks...i'm trying to keep the mental scream to a dull roar.

j-boo said...

I just adore the way that you write! Your stories are so much fun to enjoy.

So glad you made it home safely, doll.

That's crazy about the crime scene bags. Don't you instantly want to pretend you are on CSI or something? (he he)

Have a happy weekend!
xoxoxo, Jinxi

Melinda said...

The husband and I were listening to a story about the Hudson River crash on NPR this morning, and when the reporter mentioned that the crash occured about a minute into the flight I started shouting, "SEE!! That's why I always count slowly to 300 at the beginning of a flight before I start to read or anything. Because those first 300 seconds are when the shit goes down!" And my husband was all: "Um... and your not reading makes a difference how?"

Some people just will never understand.

DJ said...

I ALWAYS mentally turn my life around on flights - so much time just sitting their doing nothing! Your job sounds AWESOME - is there anything you guys don't buy/sell??!

nec said...

I hate to fly... but I am in Az and most of my family is in Winnipeg so...

I'm glad you made it home safe and super glad you didn't hear about the NY plane until after you landed!

shelbyisms. said...

Ah, I heard about the NY flight.
Personally, I have no fear of flying, but I can see why you do.
And it is a very lucky thing you didn't know! (:

Glad to hear you got home safe.

madness rivera said...

Thanks everybody!

And nope, there's nothing we won't buy and sell for a profit. Hide your shit!

jennifer said...

i busted up laughing at the dude screaming part! i'm glad you made it through the flight ok.

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