Friday, February 23, 2007

It Wasn't All Doomsday

When we arrived at the Orlando Convention Center for the tournament, which is the size of a small, unknown planet, we drove blocks and blocks to find the parking lot. Our assigned lot was surprisingly full so we parked in a dirt lot across the way, carnival style. Emerging from this lot were droves of people, half of whom were dressed in what seemed to be super-hero costumes. It was ten in the morning, sunny and breezy, and if you're not actually a super hero, lycra tights and leotards can be unforgiving in the morning light. I could only identify one or two characters. The rest were dressed for the inhabitants of their world only. The MegaCon Animation/Comic Book/SciFi/Gamers convention was happening just down the hall from the TKD tournament. Our eyes rolled to the back of our heads from the luck. We blew off Maya's weigh-in for over an hour just to get caught in the tide & awesomeness of this scene. I refrain from saying Freak Show because when the MegaCons see parents padding their children and sending them into a ring to get their heads kicked in, they may also mumble "freaks" under their breath. Here are a couple key things I learned in an hour: No matter what size or shape, no matter how much you are ridiculed at home, it is more than ok to put on your well-designed and madly expensive costume here. This is your safe, happy place. In the MegaCon world, contact lenses are key; white-out ones, ones that make your eyes look like a cat's, black ones, any color ones. Fangs are big too. And lycra. Lycra was the material of choice. If you are going to dress, play the part. Crawl around on the floor if that's what your character does. Stick your sharp, pointy talons in your mortal enemy. Do not do MegaCon half assed.

Here are a few pictures. My mom took a billion more, but you get the gist here:

Look out Maya! The breast resting on your shoulder is bigger than your head. I love the stoic, reading cat.

I said, "Strike a pose, boys." But these guys weren't laughing. This was very serious stuff and those kevlar vests with their names embroidered on the back cost more than my hotel room, all four nights. Right after this photo, another guy requested a photo with them, but this guy knew who they were because as soon as they nodded, the guy knelt before them and put his hands behind his head. The guy with the gas mask pointed his fake (?) semi-automatic weapon at his temple. Fun was had by all!

I love them just coming down the escalator. See? Super Heroes (or Thai princesses) are just like us!

I'm not sure if Marvel Comics has a Nipple Girl, but if so, here she is. Check out the metal wings on Purple Face Man.

This was hot.

So, this character is just walking around, about to buy a soda, swinging the machete casually and I say, "Can I get a picture?" And she instantly posed like this. You know this person --and all the others -- practiced all week their signature, Megacon pose.

Here was their signature pose.

I bought one of these costumes for home.
I'm bummed that I didn't get a photo of the Princess Leia Dance Off. A very lean and tall girl was dressed in the Jabba the Hut slave costume where horns spiraled around her breasts and where a long, parted loin cloth left us taking bets if she was actually wearing undies or not. Someone in her entourage put on a ravey version of an Indian song. Another guy stared twirling illuminated balls. It was 11am and I guessed the the E had just kicked in. A guy sporting fangs, cat contacts, devil horns and a shirt that read "Doesn't Play Well with Others" -- which popped up every few seconds revealing his man muffin top -- started to dance. He knew every Hindi word and every nuance to the song. Princess Leia joined in with legitimate belly dancing skills. Then a guy passing by in baggy shorts, a baller's physique and a cap on sideways entered the inner MegaCon dancing circle. He CripWalked, booty bounced and shook it like a salt shaker to the industrial beats along side the slithering Princess Leia. When a 10 foot tree walked by -- it looked like a real live tree! -- my heart couldn't take any more goodness. We pressed on to the weigh-in.


Deezee said...

"Look out Maya! The breast resting on your shoulder is as big as your head."

I just laughed out loud will reading this sitting at my son's piano lesson. Now I'm the psycho lady on the couch!

Marigoldie said...


Husband said...


Julie said...

Ah, Madness, you're referring of course to the mythic Princess Leia Metal Bikini (PLMB).

You may be like I was a few years ago, that is, in the dark about the entire underground nerd culture that exists around the recreation of the PLMB. It's a thing. I was looking up costumes for my girlfriend and I one year for a halloween party, and I was actually looking for a campy fetish type outfit that wasn't leather and chains nor frills and lace. I wanted to be a gangster and have her accompany me as my somewhat sexually explicit gangster moll, lol. Anyway, in my travels across the net I discovered this whole universe about the worship, adoration and RECREATION of the PLMB. These people were HARD CORE. And I'm not mocking, god bless geeky obsessions (fanfic, ahem ahem, fanfic forever!). I'm talking measurements, material, piping, scrollwork, tint matching, THE WORKS. It's competetive, it's real, it's a way of life. Apparently.

Just do a little internet search for "Princess Leia Metal Bikini." I dare you. Galleries. Directions and patterns and photo essays on making your own. The PLMB awards. Brainy articles on the social phenomenon of the Cult of the PLMB.

I LOVE it!!! You saw one (the bikini, not the wearer) in it's natural habitat. I'm so jealous!

acumamakiki said...

This is so brilliant. I love the almost glowing eyes of the black storm trooper dudes and even better is Mina's expression. That nipple super hero chick has it goin' on! I applaud everyone of those people for being there and doing it well. Thank you for this post this morning.

madness rivera said...

HOLY SHIT, Julie - You're so right! When I looked this all up up I found a few YouTubes on MegaCon 2007 including the bellydancing Slave Leia who is actually a real belly dancer that relies heavily on the Leia schtick. So Good! Thanks for sharing.

Fairly Odd Tofu Mom said...

Holy cow, I needed this post this morning!

Laughing my HEAD off.

Hey, I'm glad I stumbled across your blog, it's refreshing and a whole lot of fun! I'll be back!!