Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Stealing Memes Across the Land

I stole this from Acumamakiki. I added a couple questions too.

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Why, Madness' Drinkable Dressing, of course. I mean, it's drinkable for god's sake.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
El Pollo Loco for a yummy bean, rice & steamed veggie bowl covered in salsa. I will admit that before I was all healthy and shit, I loved me some Jack 'n the Box. When I was a kid and when I was pregnant, there was nothing better to me than that fried-up chicken sandwich with the jack cheese. On the wheat bun? Oh hell yes. I’d sneak those all the time when I was with child, slipping through the drive-thru like a crack addict.

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Millennium in San Francisco. I miss it so!

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
20% - I'll round up to not leave change -- and never pennies because I've made up in mind that that's rude.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
You mean what DO I eat every single day and never change even after 2 weeks is a mere blip on the calendar? Green Juice & fruit every morning, salad w/ avocado and drinkable dressing every lunch, sprouted grain bread w/ Earth Balance with (fill in the blank) dinner every single blessed night. If we're talking besides that routine sickeness then Michelle's Vegan Chocolate Chip cookies or Purely Decadent Mint Chocolate Chip soy ice cream. I've been having a passionate summer love affair with this stuff.

Name three foods you detest above all others.
Hmm, head cheese, liver, dark chicken off a bone. I just air gagged.

What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
Ma Po Tofu with brown rice or vegetable lo mein. Oh, and spring rolls with the sprouts all snappy inside.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Every vegetable offered, no cheese, extra sauce.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Uh, Earth Balance or almond butter & organic jam.

What is your favorite type of gum?
Cinnamon Trident

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
My hair.

Are you right handed or left handed?
Righty. I surround myself with a lot of lefties, however.

Do you like your smile?
Hell yea.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Two baby goddesses . . .other than that, I don’t think so. Teeth? You mean like an exorcism?

Would you like to?
Would I like something removed? That’s an odd question.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Smell since I don’t hear or see too well.

If you were forced to live without one sense, which would it be?
Hearing. I'm a quarter there now.

When was the last time you had a cavity?
If I ever went to the dentist, I might be able to tell you. I’m in grand denial about going to the how-you-say, dentist.

Do you have 20/20 vision?
Hell no. Tres blind without my eyetacts, as Mina calls them.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
Any time I pick Maya up from after-school care, she’ll take a running start from wherever she is – at least 25 yards out – and she’ll barrel at me like a freight train then leap onto me like a monkey, wrapping her legs around my waist. How I haven’t fallen yet is a big mystery. When I see her sprinting, I get ready like a Russian acrobat, semi-squat, slapping my thighs. She weighs 75lbs.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die.
Hell no. I’ll live it up until She surprises me.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Madness? Maybe Glitter. Maya used to name her dolls that when she was little. Glitter and Sparkle. She also suggested that when I was pregnant with Mina that I name her Streetlight. I was like, cool.

What color do you think you look best in?
Hmm, I might not correctly know the answer to this. I’ll say dark pink? Certain hues of green and blue for sure. My friends may say differently.

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
I think I’d adjust a little too well in there. I’d stage protests, get a college education. Demand better food. Learn to sew. Read more. Hang with my homegirls and learn how to give them tattoos.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Gum? Seeds? I’ve always wanted to swallow a key to a special box for dramatic effect. But that’d be a bitch to pass.

If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
Uh, no. I have like two living relatives and I'm NOT hitting on my mother.

How often do you go to church?
An actual church? Never. The church that is my Body and Life? Every moment. However, lately I’ve had this odd urge to sit in the back of mass and see what it feels like now that I’m grown. I love the symbolism of religions though I don’t always think they have anything to do with spirituality.

Have you ever saved someone's life?
My own a few times.

Has someone ever saved yours?
Emotionally – my grandmother. My husband and children.

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?

Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
If I wasn’t married, yes. I’m not cheating for any amount of money. But I’ll whore myself as a single person apparently.

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Hmm, no.

Would you have all your teeth pulled for $25K?
Yes. Buy me some fake ones and still net a good profit!

Would you have a baby for someone else -- a friend for cost or $50K for a stranger? Eeeerrrrrr, no. Couldn't do it.

Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Eesh, yes. (WHORE!)

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Hell yes. That’s not whoring. That’s a smart financial decision.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Hell no.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
$5K? No. I just listed my hair as my best physical attribute. Come on.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?

What about the Internet?
Let's not get crazy.


acumamakiki said...

Hurray! I loved reading your answers, it's always good to get to know someone I likey a little bit more.

Jonathan K. Cohen said...

My question is, how do you get the Ma Po Tofu without the ground pork? It's been part of every Ma Po Tofu I've ever seen, and otherwise, you just have the tofu in this gluey sweet-hot sauce.

madness rivera said...

HOLY Shit Jonathan, you just gave me a scare. But I went online to check out PF Chang's website just to double check because they've reassured me before that their Ma Po is vegan. They list their Ma Po as vegetartian online and give the ingredients:
"Tofu, broccoli, Sichuan peppercorn powder, cornstarch, garlic, sesame oil, green onion, chili paste, spicy Vegetarian Mushroom Oyster Sauce (contains no animal product)"

Jonathan K. Cohen said...

Sorry, Madness. I'm glad your Ma Po, like you, is the exception to the rule.

Marigoldie said...

I heart J.K.C. for that comment.

Dori said...

This post is hilarious.

Irene said...

great meme!!!

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it!
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