Thursday, January 12, 2006

Second Cup, I'm Sorry I Strayed

I seem to be on this auto-piloted mission to weed out all things toxic from my diet. I've been on a roll lately so maybe I convinced myself that cutting out all things would be a glorious breeze. Look at me, I'm so wonderfully pure! I read somewhere -- and I'm paraphrasing -- that if a change feels like you're grating your face across an asphalt driveway, then maybe you're not ready for that particular change. My face, people, is being grated.

I'm a Don't Give Up! girl or more honestly, a Stop Being a Fucking Baby girl so when I decided to not drink a second cup of coffee which I usually enjoyed in the afternoons, I knew it might be a little difficult. I knew that it would take my body some getting used to, some adjusting. I'll drink some Green Tea, I told myself. I'll drink more water! Yes! Because I'm a walking picture of health and health knowledge! It's day 12 and if someone doesn't get me a goddamn cup of coffee this afternoon, my foot is knocking out some teeth. Wwwaaaaaa, why did I abandon you, oh sweet life elixir?

It's not that I object to the coffee so much. I don't think there's that much wrong with two cups of coffee a day. But in 2006, I no longer wanted to flush my hard-earned cash down the Starbucks toilet every single day, sometimes twice. The other reason for less coffee was that I truly needed to cut back on the amount of soy creamer I was using. I mean, why was I adding it TO coffee when I really should've just splashed some coffee into the creamer carton? Or maybe I should've just put a straw in the carton and cut out the coffee beard all together. When I was drinking Starbuck americanos on the daily I was buying soy creamer every five days. Now THAT'S embarrassing.

This year I've been making my own coffee -- which is still delicious with agave and 1/2 the creamer previously used -- and I take it work in my lovely Lupe & Carmen car mug. Satisfaction! But in the afternoon, me, green tea and my scrumptious Pecan Pie Larabar look at each other and lament over Mami's little friend, Afternoon Coffee. WWwwwwhhhhhyyyyyyy have I forsaken thee? Why do we hurt the ones we love?

I have two confessions. 1. I'm PMS'ing so missing the coffee at this particular time is amplified in soul-crushing ways. 2. I have not been sleeping enough. I like to go to sleep at midnight though I should not. I should get up at 6:15 which I do not like. I try to go to sleep around 11, but that's when my boyfriend Jon Stewart wants to be adorably witty for me -- and now that Howard Stern has graced us with his absence -- go be on fucking satellite already -- they now play SNL reruns! At 11, the house is dark and soundless. Even Husband is asleep. It's one of my favorite times because I sink into my bed and I can feel limbs and muscles unwind. And then I'm ecstatic about the fact that funny and smart people want to entertain me on TV at that time. But 6am comes so quickly, you guys.

In other news, my spring fiction workshop is supposed to begin tonight and I've decided instead to deem Thursday "Mami Thursdays" and I'm going to now take yoga on this day. And then go to a cafe and write. Dreamy! I decided this all today. I told Husband, "Yo, I'm embarking on yoga now. (smack of the lips) Check me out. Next I'll cultivate fine-hair dreads and wear hemp trousers." He was working on the computer and most likely heard, "wwa wa wa wan wo wa hemp wawa wa." He perked up on "hemp."

Ok, fuck this. I'm making some lunchroom coffee right this instant so I can be all wound up & gassy for my first yoga class. Awesome.


Jonathan K. Cohen said...

Dagnabit! You're perhaps the sixth person who has told me that he or she will not be in workshop this term. To whom am I going to pontificate? (To be more accurate, to whom am I going to pontificate who will actually know what I'm talking about? Without peers, it's going to be a long three hours for me.

Seriously, you will be missed.

amstar said...

go get your yoga on girl. Mami night may be just as beneficial as a workshop and you can work on/out whatever you like. cheers to Thursdays and coffee - I'm going to peets for an afternoon cup myself.

madness rivera said...

Actually Jonathan, you were one of four reasons I wanted to remain in workshop. Lisa being one. Claudia and Honduro (Steve), the others. Believe me when I say I will sorely miss your pontification. I did love that most people looked at you blankly, nodding even, when you had just semi-insulted them with such cutting articulation. Can you please email me? I think I've misplaced your eaddress.

Thanks Amstar! I think this new venture will be beneficial too. I'm a little nervous. Hooray for Peets.

Green Whale said...

Really, D, be kind to yourself and have that afternoon cup of coffee. Well-being comes from obeying the not only the letter but the spirit of all the health rules we choose to impose on ourselves. The ultimate goal for all this healthy eating and exercise is for our minds and spirits to be more alive, and if a cup of coffee is going to make you happy in the afternoon than please please have it.

I can't wait to read your blogs about yoga.

melanie said...

Denying yourself coffee? I think that's some kind of sin. For real. I'm with Green Whale, if it makes you happy, then you owe it to yourself to indulge in that one itty bitty little luxury.

Michelle Fry said...

Holy cow woman I now want some coffee from a french press with some hazelnut silk soy creamer. Yummy! I also want to watch MY boyrfriend, John Stewart while sipping said coffee. Ahh.....such joy.

acumamakiki said...

I like your Mami night. I need a Mami night. Instead I have work night and sometimes bookclub night. This past Wed. I had acumama night and it was incredible. I felt rejuvenated and found a little piece of myself again.

I need to get a workout groove going on and better eating as well. You've been quite inspiring and I LOVE to hear about your veganism and changed lifestyle habits.

I gave up my beloved joe about 7 years ago and not by choice. I had the worst seafood poisoning of my life and weird as it sounds, it changed my tastebuds and I completely lost my taste for coffee. It turned bitter and metal in my mouth and that was it. Of course I'm downing black tea in large quantities so I'm not caffeine=free, but at least I'm filling myself with anti-oxidants!! Yo!

Heather said...

You make me laugh. just so you know you inpired me to buy a raw bar yesterday at whole foods. I was walking down the bar isle and thought of you, so I bought a Lara(I think) bar and it was really good. You've actually inspired me to put a bit more thought into my vegitairan diet, less junk, less dairy. There ya go, changing the world one blogger at a time :)

yolie said...

Ooooooooo, you're going to love yoga! I'm seriously addicted. I stand taller, breath deeper and move with more awareness because of it. Here I sit at work with a book about yoga on the desk.

madness rivera said...

GW & Melanie - I did have my coffee and enjoyed every last drop. ha! I am a happier person because of it.

Michelle - we can all share Jon. There is enough Jon to go around.

acumama (and everyone for that matter especially mommys) - I HIGHLY recommend a You Night if you have a partner willing to give you that. I spend a lot of time with the family and I feel no guilt having one night to recharge. It took me years to be able to get that though and before I could do it regularly, I would just do it when I could, like you just did. Even when it was just me and Maya many years ago, I'd have friends or babysitters watch Maya for a couple hours on a weeknight so I could just go read, guilt free, at a cafe or stare out the window for a couple hours with my beloved coffee.

Heather - what flavor did you get of the Larabar? As a former pseudo expert on nutritional bars, I do think they are the best. I'm so glad I've inspired. Wow, that makes me feel great. Thanks.

Yoli -- I can see an addiction sprouting for the yoga. Will post more later on the Yoga Experience.

la vie en rose said...

ha! i think you would be quite cute in hemp trousers. hope the yoga goes well.

Rebel Girl said...

I know, I know!

You can come with ME on Wednesdays nights to MY yoga class and then come with ME on Thursdays nights to writing - that way I get more of you than anybody else - bwa-bwa-bwa.

Seriously - the yoga gig is a good one for you.

I know it is for me.

xoxo - Rebel Girl

tina said...

Aw, go on, have another cup o' joe. They say coffee reduces the risk of Alzheimer's Disease. It's not like you're drinking two POTS a day, after all.