Thursday, September 15, 2005

Morality Schmorality

Saturday night, when we were out with friends for Husband's birthday, we went to a sushi spot on Sunset. When all the couples were ordering rolls and slabs of dead fish and whatnot, they asked me what kind of sushi I liked. Husband chimed in and loudly said, "DON'T WORRY 'BOUT HER, SHE'S A VEGAN." Which sometimes you just want to keep on the down low because the mass public loves to have a confrontation about this subject. So the people at the table started to ask me why as I blushed demurely. Husband, who apparently was my mouthpiece for the night said, "It's not like she does it for moral reasons . . . " And the sentence trailed off into a light echo as I stared at him.

I quickly added, "Well, that is part of it; y'know, moral reasons. I mean, the killing bothers me. It's how they treat THEN kill them, that really bothers me. But it's mainly how contaminated I think all animal products are . . ." I thought, am I really going to be Debbie Downer at this dinner party right now? Somebody help me.

One dinner guest said, "Yeah, you're a vegan with a peacock purse."

WHAT THE FUCK -- attacking my purse? My fantastic 1950's clutch with the peacock feather decorating the front that I bought from EBay for $20? Is this necessary, to be so judgmental? This guy is going to point out the imperfections of my veganism as he stuffs his face with bottom-dwelling, shit-eating shrimp? It's a feather adorning the front, not the poor bird's carcass. These types always think they've gained a small victory when they point out you've failed at something that seems too hard for them. I said, "My mother (who was also a vegan) used to buy old fur-lined items at old ladies' garage sales and would declare, 'Someone has to care for them now.'"

But the dinner party was already thinking, "Mmmhmm. Vegan Schmegan."

Obviously what bothered me most was that Husband believes I'm a callus vegan. One only concerned with the health aspects of veganism and of course, that disgusting contamination thing that I'm neurotically paranoid about. Seriously . . . one of the (many) things I thought about when they were finally able to drain New Orleans was, Where is that water going? For God sake, no one eat the fish coming from the Gulf of Mexico and, fuck it, from the entire Atlantic.

I'm off the subject . . .I don't think my husband realizes how much this is a moral issue for me. That saddens me, and I wonder if I am not vocal enough. But any adjustment I make to my life comes from a lot of thought and is based in morality. Maybe I should tell Husband that. Or maybe I don't have to make any goddamn explanations for why I don't eat animals or why I wear conscientious make up (a lot of it, thank you) or why I want to take care of my pretty peacock purse.


Kristen D said...

Oh Madness, honey! How did you not give up your upstanding morals and kick the rude comment man in HIS peacock feathers? It's unbelievable how crazy people get when you go just a little outside of mainstream. Also, I don't think they kill the peacock for one feather. But maybe they do. That would be a little odd.

madness rivera said...

Wouldn't that be terrible? In my mind, the feather was found on the floor of a fantastic sanctuary . . .yes, and the peacock said, "Take it. It's a gift from me to you. But make sure you make a RAD purse out of it."

As for the guy and his comments, I'd say 75% of people love to be confrontational about veganism. feh. I just think, "Hey, don't be hatin' on me because stuff is rotting in your colon."

HollyRhea said...

I had an uncle who kept exotic animals on his property. There were peacock feathers all over the place. It was very exciting for a five year old to go out and collect them! and! keep! them! in a vase!

I realized how bad the state of our animals/environment are in when I was pregnant. It's interesting that, rather than do things to eliminate the mercury levels in fish, they just tell you not to eat it. That can only go so far...eventually we'll have to clean it up. Or we won't have anything but Velveeta to eat.

Brooke said...

Oh! People can be such assholes. You rock that purse, little mama, and stick to your guns.

madness rivera said...

True dat, Rhea. True dat. 'Cause fuck Velveeta, man.

IP said...

I hate situations like that. It's not so much the stupid shit people say, but that I don't have a sharp and witty retort that I can through back at their judgemental asses.

IP said...

I meant "throw". When am I going to learn to copyread my shit before I post? Mierda!