Day Fucking 6 on Turbo Test 2005

Last night I slept through what was supposed to be my fifth workout in five days, and tonight I gave into the four pounds of malt-barley sweetened chocolate almonds because they wouldn't stop calling my name; over and over and over . . . Actually I feel a little nauseous now and I'm only slightly regretting it. TURBO THIS, Annarita.

I started my period yesterday which is fan-fucking-tastic timing for hardcore Turbo Testing. Since I've been a vegan, I don't suffer traditional PMS symptoms anymore which before had included -- but was not limited to -- wanting to randomly punch people in the face, believing I was a disgusting cow, developing the same three pimples every month in the same spots and shoveling as much food into my face as possible and happily justifying it. I now suffer more of a subtle POST menstrual syndrome and/or a DMS, a during menstrual syndrome. Though veganism has made me less grumpy in general especially during my period, now my period is a complete surprise. At least with PMS, no matter how horrible I was or felt, at least I knew I'd get my period a week later. Now, I'm like, Didn't I just have my period? Period? With no warning?

Had I been traditionally PMS'ing I may have never gotten out of the gates with this whole Turbo Test thing. And I can't figure out if that's good or bad.

The true test for me is Getting Back on the Horse. One missed work out and one flub up in eating is not going to break this test or my health drive, but giving up with one big Fuck It will. Once I flub up I tend not to go back; I tend to justify letting go because of things like my period and PMS (pre or post) or DMS. . . I tend to be better with total abstinence. But I realize that is not realistic nor balanced and most certainly not real life. Getting Back on the Horse is the most important test I can pass right now because then it will prove to me that this health quest will not be an never-ending hopeless cycle where I spin my wheels and make quark-like progress and then wonder why.