Lord, Is It Wednesday Already?

That whizzing-by thing is happening with the days again which bugs me, and there's a lot on my mind. The biggest of which I can't talk about yet because I've been slapped with a gag order by my husband. It's not a permanent order, just until we have more clarity on the situation. But I feel a little hemmed up not being able to blahblahblah about it . . .

But other stuff? I dunno. I've been in a bit of a funk. The funk is one part Gag-Ordered Thing and two parts food-related. My system is very sensitive to what I eat. Dudes, you should've seen me back in the day on a refined-sugar tear. Ooo, fugly especially the part where I crash and hate life with lip-curling anguish. When I finally recognized my Sugar Hate is when I started purifying my diet a year and a half ago. For the last six months I've been consistent with the Raw Til Dinner thing where I eat only raw foods until, well, dinner. Every so often I'll have a cooked breakfast or a cooked lunch, but not regularly. But last weekend, I was totally lazy and I thought I'd give myself a break from the raw thing. Not because I don't love eating that way because I really do, but it takes a lot of prep work and vigilant grocery runs. But over the weekend I decided to be a rebellious snot and I blew off the raw. Bite me, Raw! I didn't eat terribly; whole food veganism with some vegan peanut butter chocolate chip cookies thrown in there. . . but lord, by Monday night I felt worn out and down in the dumps, man. I put myself to bed around 8:30 and told Husband to deal with putting the girls in bed and whatever else was going on which I could've cared less about in that moment. Nightnight, grrr. I awoke the next morning after a million hours of sleep still grumpy. I kept thinking to myself, What is my fucking problem? (Not PMS'ing, thank you very much.) Then I realized I didn't eat raw at all during the weekend. Now, it's nice to know an actual source of the funk, but it was actually a bummer to realize that my body is that sensitive. I mean, good for me for having a physical incentive for staying so healthy but goddamn, I'm high maintenance. I will say, however, that on Monday I GLADLY chopped truckloads of vegetables and juiced my juice and ate my raw crap. And I do feel better now.

Taekwondo Update: Maya is training her butt off. She had a third-level black belt test last week which means she's one step away from earning a second-degree. The test was fairly rigorous. She had to do her forms and spar and her
bo staff and self defense stuff, but the highlight of the night was the board breaking. The black belts were required to do a three-part break starting with a ridge hand strike. This is where you tuck your thumb in, swing your arm back with a locked elbow and then swing it forward across your body and break a 1.5 inch thick wood board with the inside of your stiff hand. Yeaawwoouch. Then after the ridge break, they were supposed to run, jump in the air and break a board behind them with their foot and one in front of them with their fist at the same time. Jackie Chan shit I'm telling you! So, the adults and kids went up one by one and most of them bonked their poor hands against the board during the ridge break. BONK, BONK, BONK - ug, it was excruciating to watch. Maya's closest girl peer is a tough thirteen year old black belt and she kept clocking her hand repeatedly against the wood. Until she cried. The Director was like, "Ok Chris, take a minute and then break it with your other hand." She did, finally, with tears streaming. Then she ran and took a few times to break the other two boards just like most of the testers did. There's nothing like watching someone run, jump, miss the board and then back kick the instructor holding the board in the fingers, in the leg, in the privates . . .I stopped counting the times that the crowd groaned, "OOoooooo!" After Chris crushed her hand into wet noodle, the instructors offered the testers thinner boards to break, but the two remaining testers, one being Maya, refused. The Director saved Maya for last and I winced before she even stepped up to the board. I looked through my fingers covering my face. She swung her arm quickly across her chest and broke the board with the first strike. Then she ran and broke both boards simultaneously on the first try. She was the only kid to do that, and only one adult black belt did all three breaks on the first try also. The test as a whole had not been her best, but when she ended the show with the dramatic board breaks and the crowd went nuts, it erased everything else. Maya ran up to me, and I said, "Oh my god, Maya, that was amazing. How was that?" She said, "That ridge break hurt so bad, but I was NOT going to go through what Chris did." She laughed as she kept pushing the throbbing, red bump on her hand.