Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Fun at Work

For a few months after The Holiday Gorge, I worked at a health food. I used to conduct my own experiments on the customers unbeknownst to them. I started out doing menial experiments, like, we sold these apples called Pink Ladies and many times when I placed the fruit on the scale they, especially men, liked to announce, "Pink Ladies." Then I started counting how many Pink Lady Buyers actually did this and it was a surprising amount. The second I told a coworker about this phenomena was the second people stopped announcing Pink Ladies! which disappointed me highly. Other experiments included guessing forms of payment before customers paid- like, was there a type of person that pays a certain way (there is, fyi). I tried to guess people's ages if they had to whip out their driver's license for check writing. It went on and on, in my mind.

My last experiment before I left the health food store seemed more meaningful. I tried to spy who looked the healthiest and then observed what they were buying. In this experiment, the first flaw was that there is a distinct difference, I noticed, between who looked healthiest and who looked hottest, as in a model-type or buff-dude look. The majority of very healthy types (as in those who buy the purest and most whole foods) were mainly, but not exclusively 1. Hippy Types (I smelled pacholi oil all day long which was surprising because I thought pacholi obsolete) and 2. Asians; from very little-english Asians to very americanized Asians. For the most part groups 1 & 2 have phenomenal skin and are much more ageless than anyone else who came in the store. But they were not necessarily "hot." For example, we had a famous nutritionist who had a radio show called The Truth About Nutrition who came in daily to get freshly juiced vegetables. He was gangly and pale; he had absolutely no style, but there was not a nicer guy you will ever meet. I thought, This is what a very healthy person looks like? Then I found out he was 51 years old. He literally, no bullshit, looked 10 years younger than that.

Now, the "hot" types bought the muscle-head crap, full of processed shit. If it was low carb, hi protein no matter how many chemicals it took to get it that way, they'd buy it. But their skin did not necessarily look that great. Their bodies were phenomenal, but hmm, I dunno, at what price? And I don't know how old these people are. They may actually look years older than they do. I wish in my experiment that I could've seen a read out of everyone's internal health. If they looked so good on the outside how do they really look on the inside? Would those that eat fresh, whole foods, be, unknowingly, more susceptible to disease and sickness if they did not? Will the Crap Eaters be eventually? I just wish I could see inside. That would've really helped my experiment.

I obviously feel one has less of a chance of disease and sickness with clean eating. I think the hotties are mainly hot because they concentrate a lot on exercise. Their bodies were scultped and lean, and that looks good to me. But they do not necessarily look clear and healthy; they lack the glow of a pure eater. There are obviously those that are hot that have pure diets, as far as I can tell. I had an Indian woman come through my line that was DROP DEAD gorgeous, 8 months pregnant though from the back she was simply a size 2 with no hints of pending child, and she was buying all vegan food. I asked. She said cheerfully that she was a vegan. I said, Your doctor doesn't push you to quit veganism while pregnant. Then, she said smiling, I'd get another doctor then.Which brings me to the major difference of pure eaters vs. meat-head product consumers: overall demeanor and personality. By far - very far - the pure eaters were much nicer, more relaxed, generous, kind and patient. Come to think of it, what is hotter than that?

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